


First Fight

by Kneekeyta



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Flashbacks, Hurt, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:16:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kneekeyta/pseuds/Kneekeyta
Summary: Finn processes their first fight.





	

They’ve been together for nearly seven years, they’ve had their share of ups and downs, and a fair share of disagreements. But they’ve never had an actual fight, a fight where there was yelling and slammed doors, and I’m leaving and don’t come backs. Well, until this morning. Nothing had ever got to the point of it not being solved and done with in five minutes, with basically zero yelling or raising of their voices. He’d put his shoes where they’d go, and she’d clean her stray hairs around the sink; bing, bang, boom, and done. But it finally happened. They had their first actual fight and as the realization settles firmly into his stomach causing it to churn, Finn pulls over to the side of the road, he fumbles out of the car and into a nearby bush where he proceeds to vomit, and when it’s all done he falls to his knees and sobs into his hands.  
–  
Sitting in his old room he takes his time looking around, though nothing’s really changed, just a little sparser compared to before. The corners of the few posters he left are curling up, and the lining of his punching bag is cracking due to age, and there is line of dust painted thick across his wardrobe, and its smells a bit dusty, but none of that matters. None of that is at the forefront of his mind when he looks around.  
In each space, each corner of his room he sees, her. He sees her helping him hang a poster; she’s holding the punching bag as he takes a swing because she wanted to see if he really knew what he was doing. He sees her hanging up her flannels next to his and then giggling when they end up “accidently” up wearing each other’s. He sees her glancing back at him with a soft smile after she’d dropped the needle on a record and one of their many favorite songs begin to play. She’s everywhere, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.  
The memories fade when he looks to the far corner of the room and sees a box that’s packed up and looks like it should have been included with the rest of his stuff when he moved, he surmises whatever was in there must have not been that important or it would have made it with everything else.  
He flops back on the rickety bed, a spring popping as particles of dust swirl around him and he ponders when the last time he came home actually was. And he means properly home, visits were not often and they usually didn’t include staying over, the stay was long enough for a catch up and an exchange of gifts if it was a holiday or birthday. They had rarely ventured up the stairs to his room when they were visiting. They had their own life now and were always eager to get back to it, always eager to be alone with one another even it was to do nothing.  
The room starts to glow in colors of orange and yellow as the sun sets, and he blinks mindlessly, with his hands folded over his chest as he stares up at the stars on the ceiling, wondering if they’ll glow when the sun blows out. He waits patiently eyeing them for a long while, then, anticipation beats in his chest as the room slips into darkness. None of them glow save for one, not even one, a half of one, it’s dull and would otherwise go unnoticed if he weren’t looking for it; waiting for it.  
A smile tugs at his lips as he stares up at the dim glowing star.  
She had come over with a sly smile and a bag behind her back. The afternoon was spent with him eyeing the small bag in the corner and her settled in front of his vinyl’s, completely calm and focused. It wasn’t until the sun started to go down that he finally had, had enough. He walked up behind her wrapping his arms around her, his chin resting on her shoulder as he whispered about what was in the bag. She turned into him with an impossibly bright smile and with her hand gently resting on his hip, she kissed him, then pulled away, “I’ll show you.”  
He barked out a laugh when she showed him and he swore his heart grew ten times bigger, he quickly pressed a kiss to her pouting lips before dragging her over to his bed where they stood to stick the glow in the dark stars to the ceiling.  
Later that night curled up in his bed, he asked her, “Why the stars?”  
She nuzzled into him getting more comfortable, “You know that rhyme, ‘star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish, I wish tonight’?”  
“Mhm.”  
“Well, when I was little, on nights I couldn’t sleep, I’d wait until I knew my mum would be dead asleep and then sneak down stairs. I’d go out into the garden and look for the stars. Sometimes I had to wait for a cloud to clear, but when I found my first star, I’d wish that my dad would come home.”  
Finn tightened his hold on her as she paused, “I thought it would make things better if he came back. My mum wouldn’t be as sad and I wouldn’t feel as lonely. Obviously it didn’t work, I gave up after about a year.”  
Her dad was always a sensitive topic and he never asked more than necessary when it came to that, “Did your mum ever find out?” he asked curiously.  
“No,” she smiled, “It was just a secret wish between me and the stars.”  
“Did you ever wish for anything else?”  
“Not until many years later.”  
“Oh, yeah?”  
“Mhm,” she smiled looking up at him.  
“And what did you ask the stars for?” he asked with a gentle smile.  
“That you’d like me back.”  
His mouth stretched into a tight grin, “I hate to say it, but I think you wasted that one, I already liked you way before you liked me.”  
She rolled her eyes at him cheekily, “Yeah, well, I didn’t know did I. And when you’re drunk and walking through a muddy field because you saw the guy you like, kissing your best mate, what else have you got to lose by making a wish on a star.”  
“Right.” He mumbled, it was two years prior that happened and he hated remembering that he kissed Chloe, though all was fine and cleared up quickly.  
“Anyway, that’s why the stars. I put them in my room, too.”  
He kissed her temple then she nuzzled her cheek into her chest a thought came to him, “Archie said once that were all stars, that were made up of stardust.”  
“Yeah?” She asked through a yawn.  
“Yeah, so maybe me and you, we’re from the same star.”  
“I like that.” she mumbled sleepily.  
“Me too.”  
As he remembered, a warmth unfurled from deep within him and he was starting to blink back tears. He remembers looking out his window that night as he she slept next to him and he waited for the clouds to clear, waited for a star to shine, but it never came, so he instead wished on the ones glowing above him and soo far that wish had come true.  
Looking up now at the half of star glowing he blinks hard and tears roll down the sides of his face as he makes another wish.  
–  
Sitting outside of their house he keeps playing their fight over and over again. It’s tearing him up reliving how they were shouting at each other. How they had hurt each other. Even when she was being stubborn and telling him she was a four and he was and eleven or when she was breaking up with him on his doorstep, didn’t hurt as much as this did. He had never felt like he couldn’t talk to her, like he did that morning and that hurt him, that for once in his life, he felt so hopeless that he told her he had to leave, and she told him not to come back.  
He probably looked insane standing in front of their front door for so long, but for a split second he had actually thought about knocking, and that made his stomach clench. To knock on their door like he was a stranger needing permission to enter his own home, like they were finished, like what they had doesn’t exist anymore.  
Once inside the house he sets his keys in the bowl by the door, and as he makes his way through the foyer it’s eerily quiet. He’s only been gone one full day and he’s not sure why he was expecting it to look different or feel different, but he’s happy nothing is off other than the quietness. Walking through their house he hasn’t found her yet, he glances at his watch and knows she would have been home by now. As he opens the door to their room only one side of the bed is made, hers, a sad smile tugs at his lips knowing she’s slept on his side.  
He sits down on the bed and looks around their room, everything is the same, and he can see her flitting about in a rush to make it to work on time. He can hear her prattling on about how it’s his fault because he took his time and it’s called a quickie for a reason, then she stops in front of him with a soft smile and plants a firm kiss on his lips and gently strokes his cheek taking her time to tell him she loves him and that she’ll see him later, because there is always time for that. No matter how much of a rush they’re in there is always time for an “I love you”.  
–  
When she does come home later she finds him walking out of the guest room. They pause for a moment and he breaks eye contact first to notice what she is wearing, one of his well-worn flannels. He smiles softly at her.  
He can see her blink back a thought and instead says, “You’re home late.”  
His body slackens and he nods, “I know.”  
She looks at him a second longer before heading towards their bedroom. He follows behind her as she opens the door, she only gets a few steps in before she gasps and drops her bag. Finn looks around as does she, taking in the sight before them. The room is alit with hundreds of glowing stars. Mostly white, some are blue and others are a golden yellow, well the ones spelling their names at least.  
He was glad to have bought so many packages that he even had a few extra, which he stowed them away in the guest room. It had only taken him a little over an hour to completely cover the bedroom ceiling in the stars.  
When she turns to face him he can see the tears in her eyes, he steps forward in time to brush a tear away as it fell, “I’m sorry, girl.”  
She gently rests her hand on his cheek, “I’m sorry, too.” She whispers.  
He hugs her tightly and she wraps her arms around his neck. They take few long moments to breathe each other in. He’s happy to find she feels the same in his arms, warm and soft, and like home. He dreaded to come back and find a shift between them, for there to be a distance, one he might not, they might not be able to close. He takes a deep breath her scent filling him up and he nuzzles his face into her neck with a happy sigh. They separate but only to wind up in bed admiring the glowing stars above them.  
They’re on top of the duvet, Rae wrapping herself around Finn. He has one hand caressing the back of her neck and the other intertwined with her hand resting on his stomach.  
“I was scared you weren’t going to come home,” she mumbles quietly, “I told you not to after all.”  
“When do I ever listen to you.” He muses lightly.  
“First time for everything.” She replies.  
“Like this.”  
She nods against his shoulder, “Our first real fight.” She took a breath, then, “S’pose it was bound to happen.”  
“S’pose you’re right.”  
“I just thought after everything..if it had happened yet, it might not at all.”  
He thought that too, thought they might have been special, but he knows even the greatest of love stories don’t happen without some sort of conflict, and theirs was pretty great. “Well, you can be pretty stubborn,” he teases.  
“Because you don’t listen to me.” She pinches his side and he laughs.  
“It was horrible here without you and not knowing if you’d come back..” she trailed off with a tremble in her voice.  
“I’m always gonna come back to you, it’s me and you, babe. Same star.”  
“Same star.” She repeats with a happy sigh.  
“Wanna talk about what happened that morning?” he asks cautiously.  
“Yeah, but don’t think that we’re not going to talk about how ridiculously cheesy you are by spelling our names with stars over in that corner.” She nods off to their left.  
“So you noticed?”  
“Of course I did.”  
“We’re written in the stars, love,” he grinned.  
“You’re an idiot but I love you and yes we are. Don’t ever not come home again.”  
“I know, love you too, and I promise.”  
“Well…” she began.  
As they discussed the events of their first fight, he knew that this was probably the first of many that were bound to happen, because if he knows a few things for sure, it’s that life isn’t perfect and neither are they, but the other thing he knows for sure is that he and Rae are from the same star and no fight could ever break what they have.  
–


End file.
